2 responses to “***Update Gibson’s Problems Getting Wood- Gibson Makes Agreement To Be Sole Buyer Of Sustainably Harvested “Fiji Pure Mahogany””

  1. Greg Darr

    Yes the current threat to national security by “foreign guitar fingerboard wood blanks” has been successfully neutralized. The three offending guitars however are not cooperating with DOJ prosecutors, have been moved to federal maximum security guitar cases and have been appointed public defenders.
    Inside sources have informed me the defense team plans to call Jimmy Page, Slash, Ted Nugent, Angus Young and several other Gibson players to testify in the case. The government has offered the guitarists immunity from investigating their own instruments for their cooperation.
    We can credit Homeland Security for indentifying the threat before the terrorist origin wood can do any harm to U.S. guitarists or music store owners. The security breach at the port of entry is currently under investigation and NSA satellite technology is now hunting for other potential threats within global rain forests.
    Once again the Patriot Act is keeping us safe and has prevented guitarists from prosecution by unknowingly facilitating this terrorist plot by purchasing a Gibson guitar.
    While inspecting other unpacked lumber at the Gibson factory federal agents uncovered over 40 lbs. of hashish interspaced between the fingerboard blanks. The illegal drugs were returned to the point of origin because the search warrant did not mention any other contraband in the Immigration and Customs Enforcement documents.
    I will never doubt the intentions of George W. Bush or Barack Obama again. Lucky we live in America.

  2. greg

    Gibson CEO has learned his lesson. If you want to be “protected” you must pay the Chicago THUGS of the Democrat party’s DOJ. If they can’t find any evidence, they will raid your shop and try to put you out of business. I’ve seen the feds do this to private citizens. The tactic: take all your resources so you can not afford to defend yourself, then you either plead guilty or plea to a lower charge. They threaten your associates and colleagues as well so they testify against you out of fear of being “investigated” themselves.
    Perhaps we should all individually sue Eric Holder AND the agents who raided Gibson personally for pain and suffering which they have caused us. I have splinters in my fingers from cheap guitars produced by manufacturers who contributed to the campaigns of Democrat thugs, the same bastards who want US jobs to be outsourced overseas.
    The Indian rosewood fretboard material would be fine with the Obama administration if the work was done in India… even though it is the same wood.
    The other US manufacturers use rosewood from the EXACT SAME SOURCE as Gibson… the only difference is, the other manufacturers contribute to Democrats.
    I’ll be expecting my delivery of dead fish…

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